5 months old

The Eagle has Landed

A Dad Someday No Longer..... A Dad Now!

? -> !

T went to the doctor yesterday. It is official. She is pregnant. Afterward, we went to dinner with T's parents and then to Border's to get some new books. So, hopefully, this is essentially the end of this blog. I am aware that it may not be, however, because it is a long road from 2 pink lines to a baby. I do plan to leave this blog up because I think it may be useful for others and I want to leave the option open to add to it in the future. If I start another blog somewhere, I will post a link. So to all of you - thank you for your support along the way. It has meant a lot to me! TTFN, - A DAD SOMEDAY!

OK, so I guess it shows two pink lines

OK, so here's the deal: T and I have just barely talked about this, because neither one of us wants to get our hopes up. I've read of too many IF'ers who peed on a stick, threw a gigantic mental party and then had nothing more than a BFN and an emotional hangover to show for it. Part of the reason really is shock. As I mentioned from Lincoln, NE, we have been extremely busy with the new business. So much so that we have kind of let our TTC slide. At first our efforts were timed and primed for the highest possible chance of pregnancy - despite whatever else may or may not be going on in our lives or in our heads. Then after many months I was like, "Well, let's just give it shot sometime around the 17th.." Then, I'm sad to say, a couple more months slipped by when we didn't even try. T stopped charting and I stopped asking. But when I saw the Kotex pads come out, I'd be reminded. "Oh. yeah, I guess we missed it." So last night when T said that it had been 35 days and she wanted me to go look at the First Response stick in the bathroom, I said OK. We were both really, really beat from a long Saturday at work and I don't think either one of us wanted to process it. So I went to the bathroom and looked at the stick. I saw one dark pink line and one faint pink line. I couldn't remember what I'd heard about this... Should they be equally dark? Does a "line" mean any line, no matter how faint? So after a few minutes of standing there, stick in hand, scrutinizing the lines, I applied the old axiom, "If all else fails, read the directions." *Unfortunately, they were not written for publication in scientific journals. First off, they didn't define "line." Second, they didn't give margins of error. So finally, I went and told T, "There is one big line and one little line." She said OK and we went back to watching Tapeheads, which is a funny but very dumb movie. This morning, after sleeping 13 hours, T tried again and got essentially the same result. So she did a little research and found that Consumer Reports not only rated First Response as the best (and most expensive) HPT but showed pictures of two lines and one weak and one strong line and said that both were positives. So I guess we have a positive on our hands. But like I said, nobody around here is getting their hopes up. I'm just taking this like every other step along the way. T is going to call for a doctor's appointment, but we never got around to selecting an RE or even a primary care doc since we moved in January, so it make take a while. -ADS * T now tells me that the instructions DO say that one line may be fainter than the other, but I guess we both missed it before.

One and half pink lines

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The new baby in my life

If this entry is somewhat less coherent, themed, and content-rich than previous entries, it is because I am writing, not in my PJs curled up on the couch as usual, but from the business center of the world-renowned Lincoln, Nebraska Embassy Suites, after a few of the requisite complimentary cocktails. You know what I mean. The liquor is watered-dawn, the beer glasses are small, and the party mix is stale, but it is free, so why the hell not. Although Lincoln is a tourist hot spot (at least that is what the waitress said), I didn't come to see the sights, but rather for a business meeting. Our primary consulting group for our new business is based in Lincoln, so T and I arehere, picking up the pearls and tricks of the trade that will (hopefully) get us profitable ASAP. Not that I don't love working at the new business (it really is amazing and makes me proud just to be there), but it would be just that much sweeter if I got a pay check out of it. And that brings me to the topic at hand... As you all know, I still do not have a human child of my own. But I was talking to a friend the other day about the baby in my life: the new business. At least it feels like a baby to me: My wife and I talked for long time about what to name it. It is not self sufficient in any way. I have to talk to all manner of specialists about its health and welfare. It keeps me up at nights. It prevents me from doing the normal, enjoyable things that I did just months ago, like going for morning walks and listening to music. I have to plan for its growth. I know that know one but T and I are going to take care of it like we will. I worry when I am away and someone else is watching it. For that reason, I call to check in and continue to worry after I talk to the staff. I hope that as it grows and matures, it will bring us pleasure and surprises along the way, but the future is a mystery... So that is my baby. Not flesh and blood, but an extension of T and I just the same. My hope is the the baby won't be too jealous when it has a real human sibling in the near future. But in the meantime, I'll continue working 14 hour days keeping the baby happy. -ADS

Join the Club

I just got finished reading The Collection by Offsprung. What a hi-larious take on that basic, embarrassing moment that all IF men share: the Semen Analysis. It is not glamorous, it is not fun. It is cold and institutional and necessary. Compared to what our partners go through, it short and painless, but it doesn't feel that way to us at the time. And judging by the comments, The Collection has done its job - causing several women to rethink their belief that the SA was a little party for one. Awhile back, I shared my SA story. Now after enjoying Offsprung's fine words, I see the SA is an experience that all IF men share and IF guys form a special fraternity. A bonding of brotherhood that we should embrace. In our club we do not haze new members, for the SA itself is the initiation ritual. And, since this such a universal experience for us, I'd like to round up these stories. I think it would be good for newbies to read. It would given them strength knowing that other club members have done it, some many times, and some now have little ones to show for it. Add it would be a kick to see the variety in settings and experiences that exist out there. So men, c'mon, join the club. Send in the link to your SA blog! Ladies, I ask you to poke, prod and pry your men into writing up their experience, good bad or ugly. -ADS